The Peekers

30 Mar

My neighbours are really weird.

Sometimes it sounds like they’re throwing marbles about. They smell uncommonly bad due to what I suspect is a propensity toward smoking the cheapest and most illegal of black market cigarettes. Granted, these facts don’t make them weird, necessarily… just annoying. No, the thing that makes them weird, beyond a shadow of a doubt, weird, is the way they’re always peeking around the corner when they hear the elevator door open.

The first time I noticed it, I figured they were just waiting for a friend who knew what floor they lived on but didn’t know which apartment number was theirs. Stranger things have happened, right? Their apartment is set back somewhat from the main hallway, so I can see how even if you did know the correct apartment number, it could still be a bit difficult to find for someone not totally familiar with the building. The second time, I noticed it, I thought it was a bit peculiar. The third time, I started laughing as I walked toward my apartment and consequently, the peeker. He seemed unfazed.

Tonight, I staged an ambush. We did not catch the peeker peeking, but we did hear the definitive click of the lock sliding into place (a sound heard in 100% of peeking instances). I figure we missed spotting the peeker (rather, the top of the peeker’s head, and the peeker’s eyes, because that is all you ever see of a peeker) because we turned to investigate a sign that I hadn’t noticed before. Wanting to know once and for all what they are peeking for, but feeling too silly to confront them directly, I marched down to the elevator and called it up. Then I ran back to my apartment door and waited for a peeker to appear so that I could demand to know what they are peeking for.

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS AS I LIVE AND BREATHE THERE GO THE MARBLES RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND.

Anyway, unfortunately no peeker appeared – this time – but don’t think for a second I won’t be staging another ambush in the future. I need to know what they’re peeking for! Should I just write them a note? “Dear Peekers: To what end are you peeking for? Sincerely, your befuddled neighbour.”

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