Hooray for Health Care!

22 Mar

Just a little disclaimer: You’ll have to just bear with me if my assessment of the facts is full of inaccuracies. It is really late right now. I stayed up all night playing Plants vs. Zombies. Three cheers for insomnia! Speaking of which, hey, you know something one might do if one were suffering from persistent insomnia? Why, one might visit a doctor! I’ve done it a couple of times myself. Guess how much it cost me? Zero dollars. Guess how long I waited to see said doctor? Zero days.

I just learned that the United States government has taken the first steps toward a universal health care system. Being that it’s quite late and I’m quite sleep deprived at the moment, I can’t really absorb all (um, or any) of the finer points. The gist seems to be that you shouldn’t be denied health care just because you can’t afford insurance.

No, universal health care doesn’t make you a communist. If that’s your major concern, I suggest you read up on the differences between socialism and communism, to start with. Personally, I’m not inclined to think the notion of universal health care is “communist” so much as it is “fair” and “just,” but hey… if it means I can get me some free stitches at the hospital when I need them, well, nice to meet you. You can call me Pinko.

No, you will not have to go on a waiting list just to see your family doctor. My family doctor operates out of a walk-in clinic. When I got sick (badly sick) with the flu (possibly of the piggy variety) in November, I travelled out to her office, not knowing that walk-in hours had changed to after five p.m. It was probably noon when I showed up and asked for a walk-in appointment. She squeezed me in. Don’t worry. You probably won’t be waitlisted ten years for a new liver, and if you are, you’ll be well taken care of during that time.

I guess I think of America sort of like Canada’s older, prudish sister or matronly aunt. On the whole, I think Canadians are waaaay more laid back… just by way of example, can anyone reading this imagine a character like Pierre Trudeau serving as Commander in Chief? We don’t police gay people’s sex lives. I once read that Canadians are more inclined to identify themselves as “spiritual” whereas Americans are more likely to identify themselves as “religious.” And while I don’t have any data to back me up on this, I’m pretty certain we have waaaaaay more sex than you guys do. C’mon, have you seen the people in Montreal? In any event, seeing the States take these first steps toward an improved health care system makes me feel like I’m hearing Aunt Madge say a curse word for the first time. I know it’s not like the citizens of America got to vote on this issue or anything, but they did elect the guy who made it a major part of his campaign platform. Could it be that you guys are finally loosening up? Next thing you know you’ll be measuring things in centimetres and spelling colour with a u! (p.s. I lol’d when I discovered just now that you spell “centimetre” differently as well. You don’t even use the metric system, why are you messing with the terminology?)

Aw, America, I hope you know I’m only teasing. I love you just the way you are. I could do without your Bible Belt population, pretty much anyone who owns a gun, and people who refer to conversing in the English language as “speaking American,” but I do like the principles your country is founded on. I think your execution, up to this point has been, well, a little shaky… but this is a good sign, guys. It’s progress.

p.s. I do enjoy the fact that I’m so tired right now that I found it appropriate to address an entire nation as “you guys.” Now goodnight, blogeroos!


3 Responses to “Hooray for Health Care!”

  1. Devon March 23, 2010 at 6:08 pm #

    Told you, Plants vs Zombies will consume your soooooul!!!!

    • beeks March 23, 2010 at 10:37 pm #

      I had to delete it from my computer. That’s true addiction, my friend!

  2. Devon March 24, 2010 at 2:12 am #

    its like heroine, but zombies and not life threatening… unless the zombies are real. or you’re injecting computer junk into your veins. anyway, yeah, i’m stuck with it. sigh.

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