A List of Regrets

11 Mar

I regret not doing better in high school in general.
More specifically, I regret not studying maths, sciences, and French.

I regret not travelling when I had the money and time to do so.
Now that I don’t have the money, I regret having spent it all.
I sort of regret buying a car, since that’s where most of the money went.

I regret not being more adamant about which engagement ring I really wanted.

I regret moving back to the suburbs, even though it was something of a necessity.

I regret staying in as many dead-end jobs for as long as I did. Once I realized they weren’t helping me get anywhere, I should have moved on.

I regret not going to university straight out of high school.
I regret not going out of town to study.
I regret having not lived in residence.

I regret having lived in the same city my entire life and I fear I’ll never find a way out.

I regret not having been healthier as a child and teenager.

I regret not having learned how to sew years ago, so that by now I could be making my own clothes and Halloween costumes.

I regret having been so shy. I should have gone to more parties.

I regret never having been in a band.
I regret the fact that I never gave songwriting a serious go.

I regret the fact that in high school, I was ushered into the vocal music program without even auditioning for literary.
I think I would have done much better in literary.

I regret not having taken more photographs along the way.

I regret not wearing silly frilly dresses when I was in my late teens and early 20’s.
Now that I’m old enough to feel silly when I wear them, they’re all I ever want to wear.

I regret having spent my early and mid-20’s settling for a sucky relationship with a person I could have done much better than. I’m sorry but it’s true. I probably missed out on a lot because of him.

I regret not having been taught discipline. Now that I’m grown up and responsible for it on my own, I haven’t the slightest idea how to do it.

I regret never learning the basics of visual art. I wish I knew how to draw.

I regret the fact that I forged my own path just enough to get derailed, but not so much that I ever achieved anything from it.

I regret a lot of the friendships I had between ages 15 through 18.

I regret my “goth” phase. Boy do I.

I regret not having been a nicer person when I was a teenagers.
In my 30’s I suspect I’ll regret not having been a nicer person right now.

I regret being goaded into going to university along with everyone else once I wrapped things up at college. Psychology wasn’t right for me… at least, not at the time, it wasn’t. School would have waited. I regret not waiting.

I hope that’s all.


2 Responses to “A List of Regrets”

  1. Hella Stella March 11, 2010 at 9:21 pm #

    That’s a lot of regret! You’re pretty rad, you know. You could just change things up now and have a thrilling future. Easier said than done, but you’re still young enough to throw yourself into something and take a few risks…. You can do it! And you should!

    • beeks March 11, 2010 at 10:03 pm #

      Aw, thanks… I’m just grumpy because I’m sick, I think. I turn into the biggest baby when I’m sick. I think my motivation in listing everything was to figure out how I can go about correcting my mistakes, as it were. No point in complaining about things and never doing anything about it, but it also makes it harder to make progress if you can’t admit to yourself what mistakes you made in the first place. On a completely different note, congratulations on the house! I haven’t had a chance to say anything about it yet but I’m incredibly psyched for you!

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