What I Did Today, Among Other Things.

Happy xmas eve day!

I am using the word “today” somewhat erroneously in my heading, because today is technically the 24th, and the “today” to which I am referring happens to be the 23rd. But, as I am inclined to think of my todays as being “the periods of time between sleeps,” I am simply going to refer to the past 36 hours or so as “today.” So… Things I Did Today:

+ I went to work. 8 solid hours of holiday hell.

+ I went to the library, because one of my holds came in. After I hit the publish button, I fully intend to read said book, no matter how tired I am.

+ I created The Official (My Place of Employment and Shop Number) Wouldn’t Say No 2010 Pin Up Calendar for a co-worker. (I will explain this later.)

+ I wrapped about 20 presents. No lie.

+ I baked honey chocolate chip cookies.

+ I made that bizarre but so good “fudge” that you make with condensed milk and chocolate chips.

+ I ripped out the chunk of my Ravenclaw scarf that went too terribly awry for me to tolerate.

When you list it out like that, it doesn’t actually seem like all that much. But trust me… I am exhausted.

So, what exactly is the Wouldn’t Say No Pin Up Calendar? Quite simply, it’s a calendar that features pictures of sexy old men, or men who are otherwise conventionally unattractive but to whom you still wouldn’t say no. Wink wink. Nudge nudge. During one particularly boring shift, my coworkers and I came up with a (fairly extensive) list of such men (ex: Patrick Stewart, Liam Neeson, Alex Trebek… but only with the mustache), and tonight, in the name of xmas, I took it upon myself to turn said list into a pin up calendar. The best part was googling things like “sexy old man with weights” and “art attack guy” (yeah, he’s on there), and then sifting through the results in order to find the dreamiest image.

Also, in magical thinking news, I totally used The Secret to score myself some Olympic mittens today! Okay, not really, but here’s the story: A couple of days ago, Steve told me that Olympic mittens are supposed to be the hottest xmas gift going this year. I railed against Olympic garb for awhile, saying things like “You’re not an olympian, why do you need the uniform?” and so on and so forth. But then I noticed my mother had a pair in the backseat of her car (which we had borrowed due to some sudden strange noises emanating from my steering column)… and I thought they were actually pretty cute. So I reconsidered my position. Then, this morning on my bus ride to work, I noticed a girl wearing a pair, and they looked adorable and patriotic and warm. You guys know well enough by now how obsessed I am lately with staying warm, right? So I grew covetous of the Olympic mittens, and I cursed myself for not discovering their brilliance sooner, because apparently they are really hard to get a hold of right now. It’s like the Cabbage Patch phenomenon of the 80’s, but for grownups. Long story short, my manager totally gave me a pair for xmas! So you see? It’s true! Ask the universe for the things your heart desires, and the universe shall provide.

And just in case you were wondering, the steering column was just rusty. If your car ever starts making a noise to suggest that a hobgoblin has taken up residence under the hood, rest assured: it’s a simple case of a rusty steering column.